contradicting person..

haiz.. i am such a contradicting person.. or shld i say i juz cannot make up my mind?

i'll be leaving for beijing in abt 2 wks time.. sometimes i really don't feel like going on the exchange program.. cox i'm nt sure if i'm prepared to put up with the people there.. i'm finally in a mood to study.. ya.. maybe it's under the influence of the moe attachment experience that made me wanna cherish schooling.. or maybe cox i'm nt under any stress to perform well this sem since i'll be away.. i doubt i'll be able to settle down to study the moment i'm back..

yet.. i wanna go there and tk a look at china for myself.. i wanna convince myself that china is indeed improving and nt look down at them.. haha.. yes.. i can't say i look up to them at all.. =x

so many other factors pulling me back at this moment.. or maybe it's like wat auntie told me.. You want what you cannot get.. indeed..

-我不是冷血動物..只是許多事我選擇不說出口..